The Mythical "iPad"

I spent a fair amount of time thinking about the iPad before I wrote this. First off, long-time readers know I am by no stretch of the imagination a fan of Apple products. I find Apple computers hokey and difficult to use, adding blase color schemes, like the well known eggshell white or the silvery metallic does nothing to entice me. Apples operating system and hardware design make it difficult to mod your product, and it seems you pay an extra 20-30% just for the name "Apple".

When the iPods emerged, I laughed them off. Mrs. TAE bought an iPod with video for $399, I bought a logitech mp3 player for 39.99 that had more storage capacity than I needed. And my device was smaller. And my wife only watched one video so far in the 4 years she has had the iPod video.

When the iPhone came out, I was skeptical. My best friend got one and every time I asked him to do something, he'd tell me that the iPhone couldn't do that. Sidescrolling through pictures was neat, but I never really saw what the big deal was. And being locked to Verizon, I really didn't have a choice. Not that I wanted one. For lo and behold, here came the Droid, the John Hodgman to the iPhone Justin Long. The Droid ran on Verizon's network, came with sick features, and basically seemed the answer to my "how can I have an app-driven phone without buying that Apple garbage" question. So I got one and I love it. I love that I have every mp3 I've ever illegally downloaded on it and it has tons more space. I love the 5 megapixel camera. I love the one-hour long video I could take. I love the Android 2.0 OS.

One electronic device market into which I have not gone is the ebook. Amazon's Kindle really went crazy, you could basically read any book anywhere, a la Jean Luc Picard. I guess I would like to have one, but honestly I don't have time to read books, I have a job, am busy keeping up with the 24-hour news cycle, a 2-year-old, a busy wife, and an exercise regimen. I have two books at home right now, Borges' Labyrinth and Penrose' Emperor's New Mind, and they aren't getting read very fast. So I just can't justify coughing up 300 bucks for a Kindle.
Much less $830 for an iPad. That's my biggest problem with this new device.

Freddie deBoer says it best; Apple products are status symbols and this overpriced device, which basically is a less-capable iPhone on growth hormones, stands at the top of the current pyramid of Apple products you buy to use at a coffee shop with free wi-fi so you can look like someone with enough money to sit at a coffee shop and use overpriced Apple products that you really don't need. Meanwhile, people starve to death in Africa. How's that venti cup of Sumatra blend treating you?

Why I won't buy one: no Flash, GPS only comes on top end model, no USB port, no camera, no keyboard, 4:3 screen ratio means no widescreen video, no HDMI output, no multi-app functionality, LED screen means burning eyes...Apple's promise of OLED sure turned out to be vaporware, still no open access (requires AT&T like always), and last but not least, clearly not toddler-proof.

However, I must say this: I am glad for Apple's iPod. Like the iPhone, I know that as Apple boldly and expensively leads the way in handheld electronics, soon a cadre of similar devices will emerge that I can afford, and actually do the things I want. A Google tablet is already rumored, and if the sheer bodaciousness of my Droid vs. the iPhone is any indicator, then I'm going to put down my deposit for the Google tablet now. I suggest you do the same.


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