Friends With Benefits

Last night I joked to Mrs. TAE that I need a best friend, and fast. Mrs. TAE is going out of town next week for a few days, and I'll be left alone to my own vices devices. Although I will spend most of her absence priming the apartment in preparation for her move, I am going to take a little personal time and go fishing, overnight, Friday and/or Saturday. Sitting alone on the side of a lake all night, possibly not catching fish is a lot more fun when you have a buddy with you and you aren't alone. So I joked to Mrs. TAE that I should just send a company wide email out to everyone at work looking for a fishing buddy:

To: Everyone
Hi, it's me. I need a friend, right away. Must be male, like getting dirty, and enjoy sitting out all night with me catching catfish.
-TAE

However Mrs. TAE suggested that might not be the most effective way to make a catfishing buddy.

So I rethought it:

To: Everyone
Hi, its me. I am looking for a fishing buddy. Must like catfishing, and consider bass and crappie fishing monotonous and inferior. Must like to drink beer and talk about "life." Must be available for overnight fishing trips to nearby Corps reservoirs. Must not be jealous of the length of my pole. Must find that joke funny. Must offer your own jokes about "poles" that are tacky, but delightful. Must have a wife or girlfriend that takes up most of your time so you don't annoy me with being constantly bored and inviting me to do stuff when you know I'm busy with my wife and kid. Must be good at fishing, but not quite as good as me.
-TAE

But what it all really boils down to is this:

To: Everyone
Hi, it's me. I'm looking for a clone of myself to fish with next weekend. Can anyone produce and adult clone of me by next weekend?
-TAE

_