The Mark of the Beast

Conservative readers, close your browser and don't read this.

It's funny how the religious right claims this country is becoming dangerously secular, and that Christianity is losing itself, either to the indignant growth of Islam or simply to a bunch of agnostic 20-somethings...but then when someone mentions ID tagging people, the whole country starts quoting Revelation.

Nevertheless, I have to wonder, as I listened to Joe Wilson yell "You Lie!" at President Obama (that took balls, Joe, nicely done) and the aftermath during which liberals eviscerated Wilson, Obama defended himself, and then Baucus claiming that "verification of citizenship will be required," whether or not it is time for a nationwide identification program.

Here's what I suggest: everyone gets a bar code tattoo on their wrist. The tattoo uses fluorescent ink, so it doesn't show up under normal light. Under a blacklight, it's quite vivid, and subsequently the scanning machine can then read it. The bar code translates into a unique (and very long) number that is different than your social security number.
To prevent identity thieves from simply having fake bar code tattoos created to fake your identity, a double pin number is assigned. You pick the first 4 numbers of your PIN. The last three numbers of the pin are assigned to you by the government. Each year, on successful completion of your Federal tax return, the government updates you to a new 3 digit PIN. Should the old 3 digit PIN be used, a flag is raised and investigation ensues.

7 digits may seem long for a PIN, but consider this: people have easily memorized hundreds of 7-digit phone numbers for years. If you have trouble remembering your PIN, you could save it into your cell phone under a fake name, like Paul I Nichols, and the PIN number would look like an innocuous phone number. By having 4 numbers chosen by the user, but the other three by the government, it prevents lazy people from having a PIN like "1234" that can easily be guess. "1234963" is a lot harder to guess (millions of times so) than "1234"

There really is no reason to not do this, other than paranoia. "I don't want the government to be able to track my movements" an opponent once said to me. Why? Because they can't already? Unless you've been living in a cave, you are aware that the government's ability to track our movements and whereabouts is better than ever.
And really, if you aren't doing something illegal, quit worrying about the government.
"But what if they pass an unconstitutional law and come after me? The bar code would make it easier for them to get me...or to shut down my bank accounts and make it impossible for me to travel."
I'm not sure of the exact language, but the Patriot Act, signed in 2001, basically did that already...bar codes are, in this case, essentially a much more secure version of your SSN.
"But a tattoo? That's a government-forced invasive procedure. Roe v Wade prevents the government from forcing invasive medical procedures." Sure, and property taxes are unconstitutional too. It doesn't have to be a tattoo, anyway. There are tons of other options, like a sturdy wrist band. It just has to be impossible for a thief to remove from the person's body.
"But what if I was kidnapped and forced to reveal my PIN?"
Well, then the kidnapper would have to drag you to a location where they actually could get you under a bar code scanner, and then enter your PIN. You can imagine that scenario is a little far-fetched. Although I won't deny it is possible.
"But what if the kidnapper made a perfect copy of my bar code on himself, then coerced the PIN number out of me?" Oh wow I didn't even think of this until just now when I asked myself the question! There's a solution: thumbprint scanning.

If the tattoo is placed on the top of the thumb, and linked to the users thumbprint, then a simple device could be built that scans downward to see the bar code, and scans upward to get the thumbprint of the person. Then a kidnapper would be unable to copy both your bar code and thumbprint, and acquiring your PIN would be useless.
"Unless they cut off your thumb." Yes, true. But if someone went through the check-out line at the grocery store and used a severed thumb to pay, it might raise concerns. To counter this, a "pulse-ox" pulse oximeter (measures oxygen concentration in blood using comparative light diffusion) could be placed beside the thumbprint scanner. A decapitated thumb would register no pulse, nor a blood oxygen content. A good pulse oximeter can register a pulse in two heartbeats, so you'd need to hold your thumb in place for about 1.8 seconds. That's less time than it takes to reach into your wallet for you debit card and swipe it.

So there you have it: the thiefproof proof of citizenship: fluorescent bar code, two-sourced 7-digit PIN, thumbprint scanner, and pulse oximeter. Seems elaborate and complex, right? Probably not. All the above are existing technologies. The government already issues PINs to students filling out the FAFSA. Fluorescent bar code scanners are actually pretty cheap. Fluorescent tattoo ink is also reasonable. Fingerprint scanners have become so commonplace that they are standard on many laptops. Pulse oximeters can be had for a couple hundred bucks from Biox.
Now this may seem like a lot of rigamarole to protect your identity. So what? If a simpler method to protect your identity existed, it would be in place. Clearly SSN's aren't safe. Clearly 4-digit PINs aren't safe. Clearly debit cards and credit cards aren't safe.

Now it goes against my nature to recommend we all get "The Mark," because I am as a rule highly skeptical that individuals in government have my best interests at heart, and I too feed into the Revelatory paranoia to a certain extent. But if people in this country really are committed to health care for citizens only, and if we really believe the economy is harmed by illegal immigrants 'stealing' jobs from legal immigrants and citizens, then we must take bold action.


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